Shanghaied
 (original air date  11/12/94)

Storyline:  Mick and Joey receive a free trip to Hawaii only to find out that Gordon wants them there for a reason - to investigate the disappearance of a senator's aid.  Mick isn't interested in helping until a girl he has a date with also disappears.  Fritz joins them as bait and is also kidnapped.  The girls are being gathered for a slavery ring.

Guest Stars: Lucy Lawless (undercover cop), Peter Muller (bartender), Fiona Shannon (Kay Blake), Stig Eldred (Okii)
Note: Lucy Lawless also guests in Dead in the Water, Peter Muller in Shanghaied, and Stig Eldred in Tight Spot.

Episode takes place in Hawaii.

According to US

This episode was quite entertaining from start to end. I don't know if "they" changed writers or what, but whomever did pen this one must've had some background in stand up comedy, this episode was full of one-liners. I also commend this writer for following the main definition of Shanghaied (yes, I looked it up - I was curious). Here's what Webster's says: To kidnap (a man) for compulsory service aboard a ship, especially after drugging (him).
On to the show....

The episode opens with Mick on the phone to Gordon, he and Joey have just arrived in Hawaii and Mick is not happy about being invited to a "kiddie surf contest". Gordon explains he was behind the free trip, but a Senator actually paid for their expenses. Mick asks, "What no beautiful young woman to rescue?" But of course, this is High Tide and there is always a beautiful young woman to rescue. The woman in question this time is Amanda Caldwell, and she is the Senator's aide who has disappeared.
Side note: for as good as the dialogue was in this one, the wardrobe still sucked. In this scene Mick is wearing 2 shirts (in Hawaii? Isn't it hot?) that do not look like layering clothes. He has a white polo-type shirt on with a god-awful 50 color crazy pattern button down shirt over it. Too many buttons! 

The scene switches then to the hotel, where Mick & Joey both look in the mirror and brush the right side of their hair back in the same manner. How cute! However cute that was, Mick's clothes just went from bad to worse, and I really didn't think that was possible. He's down to one shirt which looks like some Hawaiian print manufacturer threw up on, with sweat pants and red 50's style tennis shoes. Thank god that man has a wonderful looking face. Joey and Mick argue about looking for the missing woman, and Mick says he's not going to take the case, he's going surfing (in sweats??) Joey decides to look for the woman alone.

Mick is then on the beach with his surfboard. He meets a woman who is complaining about the fact that there are so many kids around. She explains that she is a 6th grade teacher and she is on vacation trying to get away from children. Mick introduces himself, and then she says, 'I'm Miss Blake" Mick replies, "Whoa, 6th grade is that grim, eh?" To which she smiles and then says her name is Kay, Kay Blake.
The scene switches to Joey who is in the hotel bar. He sits down and orders a drink and proceeds to be carded by the bartender. It then flashes back to Mick, who is now walking along the beach with Kay. She says, "An ex-cop who surfs? Don't tell me you play the guitar and sing too?" (reviewer L'sOL here) She asks him why he's an ex-cop, he explains that he was tired of the guns and violence, she concurs that she's contemplating leaving the public school system for the same reason! Mick is surprised, and says, 'Man, kids today. (pause) I can't believe I just said that!"

Back to Joey in the bar, the bartender is still checking out his identification. Joey takes off his sunglasses and gives him a raised eyebrow look. The bartender then tells him he checks out okay. Joey says, 'If I wasn't 21 before, I am now!" He then asks the bartender if he has seen any blondes lately. He emphasizes that he's looking for a blonde who is leggy, "with gams on her that would make a blind man see". The bartender says he should talk to Marsha, and motions to a blonde sitting on the other side of the bar.
Marsha is Lucy Lawless (aka Xena). He goes over and talks to Marsha, inquiring about how he can find a blonde. She says he needs to pay to get what he wants, it doesn't come for free. He reaches for his wallet and offers to pay her for information. She jumps up and slaps handcuffs on him and arrests him for soliciting.

Mick and Kay are walking back to her hotel room. Mick tells her that if his 6th grade teacher looked like her he wouldn't have left 6th grade. They agree to meet in the bar in 45 minutes. Mick then goes back to his room, where Joey then calls and tells him he's been arrested.

Kay is shown walking into the bar and sitting at a table to wait for Mick. Someone hands her an envelope, she opens it and it's an invitation to a party. She walks over to the phone and makes a call.

Mick and Joey are now walking out of the police station, and Mick is reaming him and bemoaning that he's late for his date. They get to the bar, Mick sees that she is not there and goes over to talk to the bartender. He then goes to Kay's room, where the door is open. The maid is in there cleaning and says that Kay checked out. Joey then catches up with Mick and says Kay left him a message on their voice mail with the address of the party she was invited to.

Now we are shown two men, one is emptying a car trunk of luggage and is indicating that this is the last of her stuff. He asks to be paid, and the other man says, "You know how it works, you'll get paid when she gets to the other end".
Mick & Joey arrive at the house where the party is supposed to be. It is empty. Mick notices an expensive cigarette butt on the ground, and Joey notices an open window. They go into the house and all that is there is a stereo system set up. They turn it on, and it's a recording of a party (music and people noises). Mick says the house has a strange smell, like chlorophyll.
Kay is shown waking up in a room full of women. They are on a boat.

Mick makes a call to Gordon, they discuss what happened - Mick is not sure if there is a connection between the two missing women and the house. They wish out loud that they had another single woman available for "bait".
After the commercial, Fritz is shown walking into the hotel lobby. She asks for a room, to which the clerk replies there are none available. The man unloading the car trunk earlier walks by, hears the conversation, takes one look at Fritz and tells the clerk she can have a room. He then introduces himself as Sid Miller, the assistant manager.
The scene switches to a hotel room, and Mick is yelling at Fritz. She basically tells them to forget arguing, she's all they've got - let's get to work. They go to the beach. Fritz is sitting alone, Joey is sitting alone a distance from her, and Mick is surfing. Mick comes out of the water and asks Joey if Fritz has had any hits. Joey says, "She's had more hits than a 15 round prize fight" but she hasn't given him "the signal". Mick walks over to her, politely cuts in the crowd of men surrounding her and takes her hand and they walk away. Fritz then says to him, "Has anyone ever told you how absolutely charming you are?" 

Miller is on the phone now with the man previously seen at the house with him. The man is saying not to give Fritz an invitation, that someone has been snooping around the house and asking questions. He will come to the hotel.

Fritz goes into her room alone, and is attacked. She puts up a pretty good struggle, but then is chlorophylled, and falls unconscious. Mick and Joey walk into her room a bit later, and the maid is in there cleaning. (it is trashed) They ask the maid where she is, she tells them Fritz checked out. She looks at Mick and says, "You don't have much luck with the ladies, do ya Romeo?" 
Mick calls Gordon. Gordon is yelling, "What do you mean you lost Fritz?" They assure him they will find her. Flash to the boat, Fritz is taking on 4 guys, and winning. Lots of kicking and punching by Fritz. The women see her, and question if she's Wonder Woman. The men then subdue her, and drop her down the hatch with the other women.

Mick and Joey are walking out of the hotel when they bump into Miller. Mick notices his black eye and he and Joey then follow him into the bar. Mick sits down at the bar next to Miller and says laughingly, "She must have had a heck of a right cross". Miller replies, "Who said she?". Mick then bums a cigarette from him, and notices it's the same expensive brand as the butt found outside the house. Mick grabs Miller's left arm, Joey his right and Mick says he better come with them. The man looks like he's about to fight them when Mick says - "Any trouble, we're gonna pull and make a wish".
Mick is then shown on the phone with Gordon, explaining it's a white slave trade -the girls are shipped to a private island in the Pacific, according to Miller -who is now bound and gagged. 

On the ship, Fritz scales the wall to get to the hatch - waiting for the next time it is opened. The women keep asking, "Who are you?". She simply replies, "Fritz Bauer". The hatch opens, and Kay yells up, "Hey sailor, do you want to get lucky?". He pokes his head in and Fritz knocks him down. The women pounce all over him and Fritz escapes. Meanwhile, Mick and Joey have found the ship and see a 'goon' on board watching the harbor. Joey asks what they are going to do. Mick says, "The same thing we always do - you make a wisecrack and I'll kick him!" They then see Fritz come out, and the goon runs after her. Another man follows the first, and she knocks both of them out. Mick and Joey call to her as they get on the ship, and are then knocked down from behind. They look up into a gun barrel being pointed at them. It's the other man in on the operation. He says to someone that they should launch.

Mick and Joey are put into the room with the women. Joey looks around and says, "It's okay - we're in Heaven". Kay then says Hi to Mick, then tells him she's still mad at him for standing her up. The guys fill the women in as to what is going on, and that they are working with Fritz. One of the women says, "I just knew some handsome men would come rescue us." Mick replies, 'Let us know when they get here." The women explain how Fritz scaled the wall to get out. They try unsuccessfully (it was really quite comical seeing the 2 of them trying to climb the wall) and are breathing very heavy when they fall to the floor. The second attempt has them at the top near the hatch. Joey then pops out of the hatch like a gopher popping out of a hole, and proceeds to get knocked on the head and falls down to the floor. The hatch door closes. The man opens it, and Mick punches him out and tosses him down. The women then jump all over him, hitting him with their shoes. Mick goes to the deck, and sees Fritz surrounded by 5 men. He yells, 'Hey! Let's make this a fair fight" so 4 of them run after him, and Fritz takes out the one left. A knock 'em sock 'em ensues with Mick and Fritz hitting & kicking the 4 remaining men, until they are down for the count, with one of them in the water. Fritz then looks at her hands and says, "Damn, I chipped two nails!"
The last scene has Mick on the phone with Gordon. The story has made the papers, the Senator sends thanks for finding Amanda. Apparently the news story gives Gordon credit for the rescue, as Mick comments, "I see they spelled your name right". Mick has wet hair and is in a wet suit for this scene - why does he always look the yummiest at the end? Gordon asks where Fritz is, Mick acts like she left -but she is sitting on the beach right next to him reading the newspaper. Joey is arguing with a kid about surfing, the kid tells him he's old (or something to that affect, my tape had a glitch right here). Mick hangs up the phone and asks Fritz for the sports section. She hands it to him, and he says, "We never talk anymore". They laugh.  - Michelle P.
I don't know how much Rick had to do with his wardrobe, but my guess would be a lot, because I can't imagine that any professional wardrobe person would come up with some of this stuff. The outfit he wore to the beach when he met Kay Blake, the Hawaiian shirt, the sweats and the tennis shoes, was one of the most horrible things I've ever seen anyone wear. 

One of my favorite lines is when Mick and Joey are talking about the reason they were sent and Mick says "If you think this had anything to do with National Security, they would have sent us?".

There was also a great moment when Mick was going to answer the phone and he was just putting on his Hawaiian shirt, and he had a pair of jeans on. yea. My favorite scene was when Fritz showed up and her and Mick were arguing in the hotel room.

Two of the blondes that were in the ship, Mary Alice and Meg, were just stupid. Their characters were stupid and their acting was bad and their accents were a joke.

I think I'd give this episode 3 waves. I'm subtracting one for the beach ensemble. - rlh
I really liked this episode! I think it was cool how Fritz got to be in the spotlight so much and show what a "bad ass" she is! There were several cute scenes in this one. I got a chuckle at the start when Mick and Joey arrived at the fine hotel, concerned about how they looked before going in, and Mick informs Joey his fly is unzipped. LOL 

The guys are supposed to be in Hawaii for a surfing competition, but with Gordon…nothing is ever as they plan. I thought Mick looked odd dressed like he was to be going surfing. (jogging pants, a LOUD shirt and bare feet! But truly, with a body like his…he could make a burlap sack look like an `okay' outfit. I'll forgive him.) When they go up to the lady on the beach to sign up, saying they're the Barrett brothers, the woman says, "oh are you twins?" (sarcastically of course). Joey says, "he WISHES!" This is when they find out the competition is not for adults, but for young kids. For some reason, I like seeing Mick get "all up the air" about things. The worry line in his brow and frustrated faces are adorable to me! He really is a great actor, and in High Tide, he keeps me laughing. Gordon phones them and wants to know if they got his package (which was just conveniently delivered right to the beach for the guys! How handy is that?!) Mick says, "Gee Gordon! Wadda you think?!" He's so angry with Gordon, he hangs up on him. 

The only reason Joey isn't so upset about helping Gordon with his plan (for rescuing Amanda Caldwell) is that he is drooling over her picture! LOL Mick wants absolutely no part of it. He only wants to surf. He refuses to help clean up Gordon's mess, but as always…he eats his words. 

The short little "courtship" between Mick and Kay Blake, the 6th grade teacher, is pretty cute. I love how the writers slipped in the line about Mick knowing how to play guitar. Pretty slick! And what a beautiful smile from Rick. *sigh* I loved the scene where Mick walks her up to her hotel room. He's obviously infatuated with her…the big flirt! Mick says if he'd had a grammar school teacher that looked like her, he'd have wanted to be `held back.' He leans in to kiss her and she pushes him away saying, "I think you NEED to be held back." (dumb dumb woman!) He's persistent about getting a date with her for lunch. She finally agrees and Mick leans in for a little peck and a sweet smile. 

Lucy Lawless appears in this episode (she was also in the episode Dead in the Water), playing an undercover cop. That woman has got some wickedly beautiful eyes! She ends up handcuffing Joey for something he actually didn't do. She thought he was trying to "pay for a woman" at the bar. 

When Joey calls Mick to come bail him out….HOLY COW….what a NICE 2 second shot of Mick walking towards the phone and pulling on a button up shirt…chest hair and all!!! (I could have easily stood 2 minutes of that. Take your time Mick!) That is exactly what slow-mo and rewind buttons were created for….RICK. LOL Just a thought: Wouldn't Rick make a GREAT candidate for a blue jeans commercial??!!! Talk about jeans flying off the shelves! Ok, back to reality…

The story continues and Mick and Joey are onto the "bad guys." (the slave traders, as it turns out). Fritz enters the scene because she knows they need a beautiful, "leggy" woman to act as bait to catch the crooks. I thought the scene at the hotel when Fritz is unpacking is really cute. Mick ends up holding one of her "teddies" and looking at it for a brief second like it's from outer space. LOL Fritz snatches it from his clutches. In some of these earlier episodes, I like how there is chemistry between Mick and Fritz. I didn't realize that Fritz (even though it was the `other' Fritz) had a crush on Mick until I saw the one episode…I think it was called Killer Wave. Anyway, when he "rescues" her on the beach from the men who are hitting on her, I couldn't help but think, "what a cute couple!" And she calls Mick `charming." True, very true! 

The end is pretty cool too when the brothers end up on the ship where the abducted women are being held. They're in captivity because the ship is taking them away to the island where they'll be sold for favors. Fritz manages to escape through the hatch in the roof without a hitch. She looked like Spiderwoman in that part. When Mick and Joey end up down below (surrounded by all those women, watching the `heroes' trying to bust them out), it's a really funny scene! LOL The guys look hysterical trying to climb up the wall, as the women giggle and watch on. A few of the girls acted soooo dumb though. What was up with THAT?! 

Fritz absolutely KICKS BUTT at the end, with just a little help from Mick. But she basically takes on an entire ship of men by herself, swinging around with kicks and karate chops and all sorts of clever moves. If you ever need backup…..call Fritz! 

All's well that ends well. The bad guys are busted, the girls go free, and the show ends almost like always….with Mick and Gordon going back and forth with each other on the phone. I liked the little reference Mick makes with the newspaper as he and Fritz lounge on the beach (Gordon thinking that Fritz is well on her way back to HIM by now). When he asks her for the sports page, they both dive into their reading and then Mick looks at her and says, "we never talk anymore!" They laugh like great friends do. This is one of the better episodes, I think. I found it entertaining and pretty humorous.  - Kelley Pearson